2011 - Week 9 v San Francisco 49ers
Blognosticator - Henry
The Joke goes something like this: Two brothers, Shmulik and Yosl, living in communist Russia, were attempting to emigrate to America. One day, Shmulik received permission to leave, but Yosl had to stay behind. At their tearful goodbye, they were concerned how they would be able to communicate freely in spite of the fact that the Soviet government would undoubtedly be reading their mail.
“I have an idea,” said Yosl, “If I write in black ink, it will be the truth. If I use red ink, it will be false.”
Shmulik emigrated, and months passed with no word from Yosl. Finally a letter arrived in black ink:
“My dear brother,” it said. “Do not despair about playing the 49ers. Sure the Redskins lost a few games, but I have plenty of confidence that they will turn things around against a team that has benefitted from an easy schedule in a weak division. The Niners may have the top run defense in the league, but they haven’t faced a team that is as willing to commit to the run as the Redskins. Kyle Shanahan is a brilliant game-caller and will have devised a scheme tailor made to pick apart the vaunted Niner D. Ryan Torain may have struggled over the past few weeks, but he has proven a capable starter and will pound his way to over 100 yards. This will set up John Beck, who will pick apart a defense that gives up 255 yards a game through the air. I think Beck is on the verge of a breakout game, and he will soon establish himself as the franchise quarterback the Redskins have been looking for all these years.
“Once Washington takes the lead, the Niners with their anemic pass offense (30th in the league) won’t be able to catch up. Alex Smith has played well so far, but he hasn’t proven himself to be consistent. Kerrigan and Orakpo will knock him around a few times and he’ll start throwing picks and making the dumb mistakes he’s made his entire career (If it worked on Grossman it’ll work on Smith, right?) Landry hasn’t looked right since the Dallas game, but I expect him to be fully healed up and at 100% for this game. Same with Atogwe. Their best receiver is TE Vernon Davis, so even our shaky corners should be able to do their job in this game. The Niners rely too heavily on Frank Gore, and though the strength of our defense is its ability to rush the passer, I think the defense will shut Gore down just like it did Steven Jackson a few weeks ago. Gore’s had four straight 100-yard games and he has to wear down some time. Why not this week? He’s due for an off day.
“The 49ers are catching the Redskins at exactly the wrong time. I honesty think this will be our first big blowout win of the season.
“In fact, the only thing that troubles me this week is that I can’t seem to find any red ink.”
First, let me apologize to the powers that be here at BGO for chastising them last season when they selected me to write the blog for Week Two against the Texans. Given how this team chronically plays from the middle of October onward every year I should have been kissing their feet for giving me a game that we actually had a chance of winning. I will never give you guys a hard time again.
Secondly, I have to ask the power that be here at BGO … what the hell were you guys thinking? You give me the game following the most embarrassing loss of the season, against the 6-1 Niners? ME? I’m like the most negative guy on this board. It’s all I can do to not curl into the fetal position and weep uncontrollably when I think about our Redskins playing such a hot team. If this were figure skating I’d make something up about a broken skate and whack someone on the leg.
Oh well, since I really am all out of red ink here’s the deal: After the Bills game I think we can all recognize that we are officially in the middle of a full-fledged rebuilding year. We’re going to lose a lot of games from here on out. Either through injury or sheer crapitude, we’ve lost our starting QB, RB, #1 WR, #1 TE, LG and LT, and both our safeties are hobbled and our corners … well they just kinda stink. And we weren’t the deepest team in the league to begin with. From here on out I think we’re looking for signs of potential from our Youth. It was nice to see Hank get a big catch. I want more of that. I want to see Torain fight through this and make the most of his crappy line. I want to see Helu picking up blocks. I want to see Armstrong catch a pass.
I want to see Orakpo and Kerrigan beat the snot out of Alex Smith.
I think these are all realistic expectations this week. So I predict progress. Just not necessarily the kind we like best.
24-7. I won’t tell who wins. Not until I find my red pen.